A work in progress

So 3 months ago I became a non-smoker, other than with GODS help, I have no idea how I was going to quit.
I took a college course on wellness and lifestyle choices and that was a big help in my mission to quit. In that course there was a whole chapter dedicated to quitting smoking and the health risks of smoking.

I wrote a paper on the do's and don'ts of smoking and a week later I decided not to smoke another cigarette. At first it was a little difficult. I prayed alot and I pep talked myself, I would say " I will not be a slave to smoking, I am stronger than that" or look at you giving all your money away to people who don't even need money the cigarette company's are rich." Eventually my cravings became less and less for cigarettes and actually this is the first time I have quit and not had the urge to go back to it. I guess it's true that you can only quit when your really ready. But, you also have to make some sort of effort on your part to stop a habit that you don't want to keep.

I am soooo thankful to God for giving me strength to get over that bad and filthy habit. I look back and can't believe how much money I wasted on cigarettes and how many times I would cough so bad int he middle of the night. How I would wheeze during the day like I was snoring while I was awake. I never thought I smelled like cigarettes but I did, that was my denial that what Iwas doing was not good for me. I felt bad for my son that was subjected to my smoking and my friends, and my pets. I was making alot of people suffer for my bad habit. Now I feel better, I don't use my inhaler as much, I'm not waking up int the middle of the night coughing anymore. I'm free to live a normal life again cigarette free...

We all can kick any habit we want as long as we deem ourselves worthy of Change!!!!

Family

Why is it that family is the first ones to turn their back on you? All throughout my life I have been a great sister, daughter, aunt, cousin.

Why is it that you could give them everything and 30 mins later they have forgotton what you have done for them. I'm tryin to have a relationship with my family but for some reason they reject me. I do feel like the black sheep of the family. But you know what. .. thats just fine, I like not having someone over my shoulder counting my money and askin for it with no intentions of return.

It's funny how you can see a bad situation coming for a person and you try to warn them but they don't listen. They still have to put their hands int he fire. I'm not saying i've taken all advice in my life but WOW at this age in life people should be able to atleast detect something bout to go wrong.

Sometimes I feel like just cutting all communication period and pretend I have no family. But their not all bad,

i've noticed I don't like to be around alot of people the older I get.

Just a poem/rap

Who is the Precious one is the question that lingers,I'm gorgeous and vibrant like a world
famous singer.
Jaw dropping beauty that's to good for some guys.. Trying not to crack when
looking at my pretty hazel brown eyes,
Opportunity like this doesn't come around very often. But if your not comin right then brotha keep walkin.
I'm witty and bright got my game on tight,
All you need is a chance and this can take flight,.
Getting to know me is fun, but you gotta be up for the task,
Take it step by step build it slow it'll last.
Gots to be laid back, be cool and on your grind, cause I'm in a certain type of man state of mind.

Kick the willie bo bo's, sit back and just chill, show Ms. Priscilla that your different that you can be real..

Who you are I'm willing to know and see, Can I wrap 1000 dollars around that d--k so I can f--k two Gee's?

How many people do you really call your FRIEND?

When I was younger I used to have a million people around me all the time. They smiled in my face and acted like they liked me so much. Well I found out it was only because what I was doing for them. HOW fake and selfish people can be. No regard for anyone but themselves and how they can gain by knowing someone.

Slowly the numbers went down as life brought me out of rose colored glasses and stuck me into what life was really all about.

I remember when I told my very good friend (" so I thought") I was getting a divorce. Even tho she knew all that I had been through with this man, the only thing she could give me as support was a negative mouth. " Omg girl I can't believe you would leave him when hes paying all the bills." To her it was all about the money...

All I thought to myself was REALLY!??! So yeah I'll just wait around till he smashes my face in and it's all good cause " I'm getting taken care of financially" Pleeeeease.. My piece of mind is worth wayyyy more than a crummy bill..

A lot of women take so much crap from men and vice verse, just because their comfortable, financially unstable, or their self esteem is so crushed they feel worthless. Well I wanna tell anyone in that situation "GET OUT NOW..... LIFE IS TOO SHORT" Anyway I totally got off the subject.

Back to these phony friends watch out for them cause their lurking and searching for their next victim, if your down to your last and can't afford to give a loan, DON'T most likely a loan is a donation.

Shutter Island.... Did u like it or not?

In my view of shutter island it was a good movie, but what about this movie was scary.. I was led to believe by the title, as well as the previews that this was a horror movie and was very surprised that it was not...

It seemed to take a long time to get to what was really going on in the movie, I had my heart set on seeing something very crazy happen.. Well crazy did happen, only not in the way i expected. Leonardo was the crazy one in the movie. No real action in the movie but once I got to the end of the movie and the whole plot came out. It was well worth waiting for, a man that was sane and a productive citizen (Leonardo) in the real world, developed his own world and reality upon finding his three children dead. How realistic is this in relation to things happening in the world today.. So many parents killing their children because they let life drive them crazy. It's the modern day Sodom and Gomorrah if u ask me.

So overall i would definitely encourage watching this movie at least twice. For me the second time and knowing what the storyline was made the movie 10 times better..

Just curious. What you think..

OK so I'm talking about pan handlers here.. The ones that nickel and dime you to death no matter where you go. The ones that supposedly are sooo hungry and needy but when you offer to buy them food they don't want it they just want the money.

So my question to everyone is knowing what we know of these "Pan Handlers do you still feel bad and give them money or do you keep walking past them as if they were invisible?

Me I am sooo tired of being asked for money by these people that I almost know are going to buy drugs or alcohol. Yet there are times that I still feel bad and give em some change.

There was this one time I was out and this guy was sitting in front of a Conney island in Detroit, eating mayonnaise out of the jar. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. So I offered to get the man something out of Conney island, he refused me three times and said "No just give me the money and I'll get what I want". So I wasn't very well going to give him money. I went into the Conney island and got him a cheeseburger deluxe. When I took it to him do you know he got belligerent with me. and threw the food on the ground.

How ungrateful but that was definitely a wake-up call. After that experience I'm pretty much done with them damn pan handlers..

Does anyone have similar stories???